Friday, June 12, 2009

Live and Love, it's All I Can Do.


-- Little Princess--

Went to see my little princess (daughter) today. Looks like she's doing fine. As usual, just being cheerful, and exploring everything that's in her sight. We spent most of the time playing "peek-a-boo". She has this thing where she loves to grab my hands and make me cover my face so I can open my hands and give her a silly look. Its sweet watching her giggle. She's my world. Things haven't been easy this year but nobody should ever doubt how much I love her. There are days where I beat myself up because I can't do everything I wish I could do. I still love her...

-- Some Dreams are not Real --

Speaking of love, I think that a very important someone thinks that I'm all talk and no action. The thing is I will admit that I have done something I should never have done but, it doesn't change the fact that she's important to me. "You ask me to trust you then, TRUST ME". I have never lied to you and don't plan on making it a habit. I have been the most open to you than any other person I have ever met in life. I care about you and you mean a great deal. Lemon-Chan and I were talking today. I was telling him about how I was worried that you don't believe my feelings and then we were reminded of how often I talk about you. Lemon even made a mention of how, we would have a wrestling conversation and I would always find some way to bring the convo back to you. Don't believe that? Ask my aunt about how often I talk about you. Sure, its not a matter of just talking but for me its my way of expressing my feelings. To me its like having a neon red light over my head and walking in a dark alley while the words "I love her" are flashing. You can't miss it! Thing is, what I feel is true. Believe what you want. I will say this, I'm hurt that you don't understand...

-- Someone or Something is Watching Over Me --

Lately, I can't help but to have this feeling that something is watching over me. Just when I think everything is going to go haywire something or someone pops out of nowhere and the situation gets a bit better. My life is far from easy. There are days where I don't even know where my next meal will come from but it does. I don't know how exactly to explain it. Things are in the traditional sense bad yet I have this feeling that I will be all right. Maybe its because I have gone through worse situations. Or the fact that I face death every time I'm riding my bike. Maybe I'm finally learning to stop worrying so much and to let things be. Whatever it is, its there. I'll accept this feeling and keep living. Besides, its all I can do. Lemon-Chan, thank you for your help today and, tell your family I said "thank you" also. I don't have enough digits to count the number of times that your family has helped me. Most of you know, I don't have a"religious affiliation" but, there was this one bible verse that came into mind while I was thinking about all of this. Its funny how some things from your childhood stay with you...

- Matthew 6:25-27 -

25“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

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